"...Happy."

"I pray for my community of faith, for its struggles and vulnerability.  I pray for individuals who are suffering, feeling diminished, and alienated and consequently lash out and hurt those they most love.  I pray for those who see only hopelessness and despair, shame and ridicule.  May we experience the light in the darkness.  May we be patient, kind, compassionate, gentle, empathetic, and tolerant, even when we are confronted by rage, hatred, ignorance and fear.  May we know and follow the Living Christ more closely, seeking justice, loving kindness and walking humbly."


Psalm 32:1-4
¹ Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven,
   whose sin is covered.
² Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity,
   and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

³ While I kept silence, my body wasted away
   through my groaning all day long.
⁴ For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
   my strength was dried up^* as by the heat of summer.


1) "Happy are those;" "...transgression is forgiven;" "...sin is covered;" "...wasted away;" "...groaning all day long;" "...heavy upon me;" "...my strength was dried up;" "...while I kept silent;"


2) I know this place.  I know the feeling of silence, wasting away, groaning all day, weight heavy upon me, my strength drying up.  I know depression.  I know grief.  I know mental anguish.  I know darkness.  I know the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by life.  Intimately.  And not today.  And so I also know that relief comes, light dawns, groaning ends.  And, as hard as it is to face at the time, the turning happens only when I've been able to break my silence and name the resentment in my heart and know that its my resentment that is weighing me down, wasting my body, making me groan, and drying me up.  I am so grateful for the gift of my deceit being lifted.  When I'm in the darkness, I'm terrible to be around.  I'm inclined to behave in ways that encourage people to leave me to that darkness, increasing the isolation.  Thank God for those who stick around despite me being miserable.  There have been so many over the years.


3) What is the invitation in all this?  To have increased patience and empathy for people living in their resentment.


"Holy One, help me live in the happiness of transgression forgiven, sin covered, no iniquity and a spirit that is not deceived."


Breathprayer: "...happy."